wondering

These are the questions that have been bouncing around in my mind today.

If I died tomorrow, would you be at peace with the way you've handled things since we broke up? Would you have any regrets? Would you wish you'd had more time and that you'd done things differently?

If we hadn't met the way we did, if you didn't get to learn about my heart and my spirit the way you did before you saw me in person, and we just happened to pass each other in the street one day, would you have found me attractive?

Did you ever know how much I loved (love) your hands? Big, strong, broad, powerful man hands. I miss them.

How did you stop loving me so quickly?

Why did you read my messages without telling me? Do you recognise that's not a very kind thing to do?

Would it surprise you to know I miss your Mum? We were just getting to know each other.

How do you feel about me these days? Indifferent? Repulsed? Frustrated? Amused? Annoyed? Something else?

Do you find my enduring love for you pathetic?

There's no pattern or rhythm. Some days my mind is just full of questions.