another Christmas

without you. God only knows why, but I didn't think it would be like this, even with everything you said and everything I knew. My heart aches.

my wish

is that you contact me this Christmas.

this is what I see

"Look at all these people
Doin' all their things
Goin' all their places
Dreamin' all their dreams.

Look at all their faces
Smilin' through their pain
Cryin' through their heartache
Pushin' through their shame."

all I want for Christmas ...

is you.

please, please, please

I'm begging you. Can I please have my heart back now.

silly me

I'm watching a Dr Phil segment on relationships! Why would I do that? And ouch, home truths. I find it very difficult to face the truth that you're 'just not that into me' and that to keep a man you have to 'not need them'.

Of course I need you. And of course I can live comfortably and happily (well, as soon as the grieving process has run it's course) without you. So I can need you and yet I can live without you. It's just that I don't want to live without you. It's not the choice I'd make if I had any control over the choice. My choice would be to love you, live with you, have a happy, simple life. To have the kind of love that's as rare as anything could be rare.

Anyway, I shouldn't watch these shows!

god

I miss you.

one year and two weeks

and I still long to be in your arms every day.

I honestly just don't know how to let you go. How to make a life for myself without you in it.

take care

of my heart.

I left it with you.