future planning

I find myself planning for my future. Not the kind of planning that involves holidays, investments, new jobs, a new home ... all the normal stuff. But the kind of planning that involves me contacting you. This time maybe I'll get the timing right, say the right thing, in just the right tone, dangle just the right subtle enticement - and then you'll contact me back. Is it possible I'm that clever? Is it possible that somehow I know you better than you know yourself? I mean, for the past four months you've consistently told me - rarely directly, usually through silence - that you do_not_want_ to_talk_to_me! I can change your mind though, right? Because you just need space and some patience from me.  Because I know best don't I, I know we're meant to be together. It's just a matter of time (or is it perhaps persuasion by stealth?) before you know it too. I can win this one, I'm sure of it. Just by being the perfect blend of warm and thoughtful, but at the same time happy, independent and most importantly, moved_on! And just by waiting long enough, until the perfect future moment arrives. Then you'll know what you're missing. What you've given up. How silly you were.

Yep, I'll just keep deluding myself.

P.S. I'm still aching for your help. Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Please.