Today it feels as though someone has reached into my chest, stretched their fingers and wrapped them around my fragile heart, and squeezed with all of their might.
I can hardly believe that this aching just doesn't go away. I can hardly breathe.
Just when I think I'm letting go, getting on with things, fretting less, feeling stronger, I crumble again.
I see you in the couple holding hands the way you used to hold mine. In the supermarket doorway, where you'd grab the grocery bags and insist I wasn't allowed to carry any of them. In the bus, which you hated. In a stranger's eyes, dark and soulful just like yours. I see you everywhere. In everything.
For a day or two my mind is in charge, telling me I should let go, I can let go, I have let go a little bit more and a little bit more.
Then my heart cries out and reminds me I'm kidding myself. I am devastated. I'm completely lost without you.
I love you and I don't think I'll ever, ever be happy again.
I can hardly believe that this aching just doesn't go away. I can hardly breathe.
Just when I think I'm letting go, getting on with things, fretting less, feeling stronger, I crumble again.
I see you in the couple holding hands the way you used to hold mine. In the supermarket doorway, where you'd grab the grocery bags and insist I wasn't allowed to carry any of them. In the bus, which you hated. In a stranger's eyes, dark and soulful just like yours. I see you everywhere. In everything.
For a day or two my mind is in charge, telling me I should let go, I can let go, I have let go a little bit more and a little bit more.
Then my heart cries out and reminds me I'm kidding myself. I am devastated. I'm completely lost without you.
I love you and I don't think I'll ever, ever be happy again.
No comments:
Post a Comment