planning my goodbye

I have some things I'm going to send to you. I bought them recently, for the kids, when I was missing you all so much. I bought them on a whim. I asked you if it was OK to send them, but you were silent. Then I had second thoughts and so I asked you if you could understand that it's probably best if I don't send them afterall. You were silent. Now I don't really know what to do for the best, but in case you're expecting them, and because I love you with all my heart, I've decided to send them.

I'm going to wait a little while though. A few weeks, just to get a bit stronger and clearer. Because when I send these things I'm also going to say goodbye.

You deserve at least that much from me. A goodbye. To be let go. To be left alone.