home

I'm probably going to buy a house tomorrow. In my heart of hearts I see it as our home - you, me, the kids, a stunning view and a huge adventure. I get that it's not our home, and that we won't share this adventure. I wish you knew what you're missing out on. All of our love, all of our dreams, all the magic that we have shared and could share. Everything that is rare and precious is everything we had and that we could have again. We just have to want it enough and be willing to mend our broken pieces. We could have such an amazing life in this amazing place.

It tears me up inside that all my wanting is not enough.

I think I'm going to buy us a home. And then I'll start coming to terms with living there, alone.